Find a Sexuality Therapist

Understanding sexuality and how it affects you

Sexuality is a broad part of who you are. It includes your sexual orientation, your gender identity, your patterns of desire and attraction, your sexual behaviour and the meaning you attach to intimacy and pleasure. For many people these aspects are comfortable and integrated, while for others they can be a source of confusion, stress or conflict. Changes in desire, questions about identity, difficulties with intimacy, past sexual trauma and cultural or religious pressures can all shape how you feel about your sexuality and how you relate to others.

Why sexuality matters to everyday wellbeing

Your sexual life does not exist in isolation from other parts of your life. Difficulties around sexuality may affect your relationships, self-esteem, mood and sense of belonging. You might notice avoidance of intimacy, arguments with a partner, feelings of shame or anxiety, or a loss of interest in sexual activity that once felt important. Even when issues feel personal or embarrassing, talking with a trained counsellor or therapist can help you untangle what is happening and identify the next practical steps.

Signs that you might benefit from therapy for sexuality

You might consider seeking therapy if you are experiencing ongoing distress linked to any aspect of sexuality. This can include persistent worry about sexual performance, sudden or gradual changes in desire, confusion about sexual orientation or gender identity, compulsive sexual behaviour that feels hard to control, or pain during sex that affects your relationships. Relationship difficulties that centre on mismatched desire, communication breakdowns about sex, or ongoing resentment around intimacy are also valid reasons to look for specialist support. If something in your sexual life causes frequent upset, repetitive arguments, avoidance or interferes with your day-to-day functioning, a therapist who specialises in sexuality can offer a focused space to explore those concerns.

What to expect in therapy sessions focused on sexuality

When you first contact a sexuality therapist you can expect an initial conversation about what has brought you to therapy and what you hope to achieve. That opening session is usually a chance to outline key concerns, discuss practicalities such as fees and confidentiality arrangements, and agree on goals. Subsequent sessions typically involve a mixture of listening, reflection and practical exercises. You and your therapist will explore thoughts, feelings and behaviours, and look at how past experiences and current patterns interact. If you attend with a partner, sessions will often focus on communication, mutual understanding and rebuilding intimacy. Your therapist will work at a pace that feels manageable and will tailor interventions to your specific needs rather than imposing a one-size-fits-all plan.

Timing and outcomes

Therapy for sexuality can be brief and solution-focused or more open-ended depending on the issues you bring and the depth of exploration you want. Some people notice meaningful changes after a handful of sessions, while others use therapy as a longer-term space for personal growth. Outcomes you might aim for include improved communication with partners, clearer sexual boundaries, reduced anxiety around sex, a stronger sense of identity, or practical strategies to manage desire and behaviour.

Common therapeutic approaches used for sexuality

Therapists who specialise in sexuality draw on a range of evidence-informed approaches. Cognitive behavioural therapy is often used to identify unhelpful thoughts and develop new ways of responding to sexual anxiety or intrusive thoughts. Psychodynamic work explores how earlier relationships and experiences influence present patterns. Sex therapy provides practical education, exercises to rebuild intimacy and structured behavioural tasks such as graded exposure or sensate focus exercises. Emotion-focused therapy helps couples access and share underlying feelings, and systemic therapy looks at relational patterns within family and cultural contexts. Mindfulness and acceptance-based approaches can help you relate differently to bodily sensations and intrusive thoughts. A skilled practitioner will explain why a particular approach is being used and will invite your feedback as therapy progresses.

Accreditation and professional standards

When choosing a therapist it helps to look for those who are registered or accredited with recognised UK bodies such as the BACP, HCPC or NCPS. Registration indicates that a practitioner works to professional and ethical standards, has appropriate training, and engages in ongoing professional development and supervision. Therapists often state their specialisms in their profiles so you can find someone with experience in sexual health, gender diversity, trauma-informed practice or couples work as relevant.

How online therapy works for sexuality

Online therapy is a common and effective way to access specialist help for sexuality issues. You can choose video, telephone or text-based sessions depending on what suits you. Video sessions allow face-to-face interaction and non-verbal cues, while phone or messaging options can feel less exposing for some people. When you attend an online appointment it helps to find a quiet, undisturbed place where you can speak freely and where you will not be interrupted. Therapists usually explain how their remote sessions are conducted, including how they keep your information safe and how they will respond if you need urgent help. If an issue arises that requires in-person assessment or specialist medical input, a therapist can guide you to appropriate local services or liaise with your GP with your consent.

Practical considerations

Online work does not suit every situation, but many people appreciate the convenience and accessibility it offers - particularly if mobility, location or scheduling are barriers. You should check technological requirements in advance, such as a stable internet connection and a device with a camera if you plan to use video. Discussing session format, length and payment methods upfront will help you avoid surprises. Therapists will also discuss safety planning for crisis situations and may provide information about local emergency resources if needed.

Tips for choosing the right therapist for sexuality

Finding the right practitioner is a personal decision. Start by looking for someone who explicitly states a speciality in sexuality, relationships or sexual health, and who lists relevant training or accreditation. Consider whether you prefer a counsellor or a therapist who offers specific sex therapy interventions, and whether you want individual or couples sessions. Think about practical factors such as appointment availability, fees and whether you want online or face-to-face meetings in your area. It is reasonable to request an initial short phone call to ask questions about experience, approach and how they work with issues similar to yours. Trust your instincts - you should feel respected and heard from the first contact. If something does not feel like a good fit it is acceptable to look for another practitioner.

Final thoughts

Seeking help for sexuality-related concerns is a common and constructive step. Therapy offers a professional space to make sense of your experience, reduce distress and build practical skills for healthier relationships and a more comfortable sense of self. Whether you are exploring identity, addressing changes in desire, recovering from past experiences or navigating couple dynamics, a qualified therapist can partner with you to find clearer ways forward. Use the listings to compare qualifications and approach, and reach out to arrange an initial conversation - the right support can make a tangible difference in how you live and relate.