Find a Family Therapist

Understanding family and how it affects people

Family is not just a set of genetic ties or a shared address - it is the web of relationships that shapes how you communicate, cope with stress and make decisions. Family life can include parents, children, step-relatives, fostered members and chosen family. The patterns that develop over years influence emotional responses, expectations and behaviour in everyday life. When those patterns become strained - through conflict, separation, bereavement, or the pressures of modern parenting - the effect can ripple across generations and into other areas such as work and friendships.

You may find that difficulties at home affect your sleep, concentration or mood, or that recurring arguments leave everyone feeling worn down. Family issues can be practical - like co-parenting after separation or managing teenage behaviour - or deeply relational, such as dealing with unresolved loss or long-standing communication difficulties. Whatever the cause, family therapy focuses on relationships and interactions rather than treating a single person in isolation.

Signs you might benefit from family therapy

It can be hard to know when to seek help, but there are some common signs that family therapy may be useful. You might notice persistent conflict that keeps returning despite attempts to resolve it, patterns where the same arguments follow a familiar script, or significant changes in a child's behaviour that are difficult to manage. Separation or divorce often brings new challenges around co-parenting and boundaries that benefit from guided support. You may also feel overwhelmed by the practical and emotional work of caring for ageing relatives, or notice that past hurts and unresolved issues are influencing present relationships.

Sometimes the signs are less dramatic - a growing sense of distance, repeated breakdowns in communication, or different family members wanting different things but not knowing how to reach an agreement. If you find it difficult to speak openly without rows starting, or if attempts at negotiation lead to withdrawal rather than resolution, family therapy can offer a structured way to change interaction patterns and test new ways of relating.

What to expect in family therapy sessions

When you start family therapy you will usually have an initial assessment where the therapist meets with the family or key members to understand concerns, history and practicalities. The therapist will explain how sessions are organised, how they record information and what to expect about involvement from each family member. You can expect a mixture of joint sessions with several family members present and, at times, individual meetings to allow space for private reflection and to ensure everyone's voice is heard.

Therapists often use tools such as family mapping - sometimes called a genogram - to visualise relationships, recurring themes and strengths. Early sessions tend to focus on identifying patterns of interaction and setting collaborative goals. You should expect a focus on practical skills - for example, communication techniques, conflict management, and planning for transitions such as separation or a new baby - alongside a consideration of feelings and history. Progress may be gradual and will typically involve tasks between sessions to try out new behaviours at home.

Common therapeutic approaches for families

Family therapists use a range of approaches depending on the issues and the ages involved. Systemic family therapy looks at the family as a system of relationships and focuses on changing interaction patterns rather than attributing blame. Structural family therapy examines family roles and boundaries and works to reorganise patterns that contribute to stress. Attachment-based approaches explore how early patterns of caregiving shape current relationships and help families develop greater emotional attunement and security.

Narrative therapy offers a different lens by helping family members separate the problem from the person and rewrite unhelpful stories that dominate family life. Solution-focused work concentrates on small, achievable changes and on amplifying what already works. Cognitive behavioural approaches are sometimes adapted for families to address specific behaviours or thoughts that maintain conflict, and parenting programmes provide practical strategies for discipline and managing developmental challenges. A qualified family therapist will explain which approach they use and why it is suitable for your situation.

How online family therapy works

Online family therapy makes it easier to gather family members who are separated by distance or who have busy schedules. Sessions are typically held by video call and can mirror face-to-face work with joint conversations, individual breakout moments and shared use of visual tools. You should prepare a quiet, comfortable environment at home where everyone can take part with minimal interruptions. Practical considerations include checking internet connectivity, deciding where each person will sit so that everyone can be seen and heard, and agreeing on basic etiquette such as turning off other devices and arriving a few minutes early.

When children are involved, therapists take extra care to make the online space child-friendly and age-appropriate. They will discuss consent and safeguarding arrangements with you and will explain how they manage records and communications outside sessions. Online work can be as effective as in-person therapy for many families when it is well planned and when there is clear agreement about how sessions will run.

Tips for choosing the right family therapist

Choosing a family therapist is a personal decision and it helps to be clear about what you want to achieve. Look for someone who lists family work as a speciality and who can describe their experience with issues similar to yours. In the UK many family therapists are registered with professional bodies such as the BACP, HCPC or NCPS; registration indicates recognised training and adherence to professional standards. Read therapist profiles to understand their therapeutic approach, experience with children or adolescents if relevant, and whether they are comfortable working with blended or non-traditional family arrangements.

Practical matters matter too. Consider whether you prefer in-person sessions in a local clinic or online appointments, how long sessions last, the fee structure and whether the therapist offers an initial consultation to see if there is a good fit. Trust your sense of whether the therapist explains their approach in a way that makes sense to you and whether they listen to your goals without rushing. If you are working with children, check that the therapist has relevant experience and that they can describe how they make sessions accessible and engaging for young people.

Preparing for therapy and next steps

Before you begin, it can help to talk with family members about practical commitments such as timing and confidentiality boundaries within the household. Agreeing on shared goals - even small ones - helps keep work focused. When sessions begin, allow time for the initial assessment and be prepared for emotions to surface as you explore long-standing patterns. Progress often looks like small but steady shifts in how you relate and may involve experiments in communication that feel awkward at first but grow more natural with practice.

If you are ready to look for a therapist, use the filters below to narrow results by specialism, registration and session format. Profiles will outline qualifications, therapeutic approach and experience so you can make an informed choice. Family relationships are complex and help is available - a qualified family therapist can support you in finding new ways to relate that are healthier for everyone involved.