Find a Domestic Violence Therapist

Understanding domestic violence and its impact

Domestic violence describes patterns of controlling, coercive or abusive behaviour that take place within intimate or family relationships. It can include physical harm, emotional abuse, economic control, sexual violence and coercion, or behaviours that undermine a person’s agency and confidence. Many people also experience patterns of isolation, manipulation and threats that leave long-lasting effects on mental and emotional wellbeing. The experience of domestic violence differs from person to person - some people present with obvious physical injuries while others show less visible signs such as anxiety, hypervigilance, sleep problems or difficulty trusting others.

Because domestic violence often involves an imbalance of power, it can affect many areas of everyday life. You might notice changes in your ability to manage work, maintain relationships, or make decisions. For people who have left an abusive relationship, memories and reminders can continue to influence behaviour and mood. Therapy aims to help you make sense of the experience, build coping strategies and, where needed, plan for ongoing safety and wellbeing.

Signs that you might benefit from therapy

If you are feeling overwhelmed, stuck or unsure how to move forward after experiencing domestic violence, counselling may be helpful. You might find that you are persistently anxious, struggling with low mood, having flashbacks or nightmares, or finding it hard to engage in day-to-day tasks. Some people notice changes in their relationships, including difficulty trusting others or repeated patterns of unhealthy attachments. Others seek therapy because they are experiencing parenting challenges, physical symptoms related to stress, or a desire to understand how the abusive behaviour affected their sense of self.

Therapy can also help if you are trying to end a relationship and want support with decision-making, boundary-setting and managing practical next steps. If you feel at risk, or others are at risk, it is important to contact emergency services or a domestic abuse helpline in the UK for immediate advice and support before making therapy arrangements.

What to expect in therapy for domestic violence

In early sessions you will usually spend time with your counsellor establishing safety, clarifying immediate needs and setting goals for treatment. Your practitioner will ask about the events you have experienced and how these continue to affect you. The pace of disclosure is guided by you, and a good therapist will work to create a steady, respectful process that honours your choices. Sessions often explore emotional responses, coping strategies and practical concerns such as housing, finances or contact with authorities.

Throughout therapy you may work on developing techniques to manage anxiety, intrusive thoughts or difficult memories. You might be supported to rebuild a sense of control and self-worth, to understand patterns of behaviour that kept you in an abusive relationship, and to rehearse new ways of relating to others. Where necessary, your therapist can discuss safety planning and signpost you to specialist services that deal with legal, housing or medical needs. Many people find that therapy helps them regain clarity and confidence to plan the next steps in their lives.

Therapeutic approaches commonly used

There are several therapeutic approaches that therapists often use when working with people affected by domestic violence. Trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy adapts CBT techniques to help you process disturbing memories and reduce the influence of intrusive thoughts. Eye movement techniques and somatic-informed therapies may be offered to help with processing trauma at a bodily level. Psychodynamic therapy can assist you in understanding how past relational patterns affect current relationships, while narrative approaches focus on re-authoring the story you tell about yourself after abuse.

Many therapists take a trauma-informed approach rather than relying on a single modality. That means they attend to issues of power, control and safety, and tailor interventions to your needs and pace. Therapists who specialise in domestic violence often combine therapeutic work with practical support and liaise with other agencies when appropriate. You should expect to discuss the therapist’s experience working with domestic abuse and their approach to safety and safeguarding.

How online therapy works for domestic violence

Online counselling has become a common option for people seeking help with domestic violence. Sessions take place over video or phone and can be more flexible for those balancing work, childcare or living in remote areas. Online therapy allows you to access practitioners who specialise in this area even if there are none nearby. It can also offer a degree of anonymity that some people find easier when first seeking help.

There are particular safety considerations for online work. You and your therapist will discuss how to arrange sessions in a way that reduces the risk of being overheard, and how to manage interruptions or changes in access to technology. You will also agree what to do in the event of an emergency and what contact details to use if a session needs to be moved or rescheduled. A skilled therapist will discuss these practical matters with sensitivity and help you create boundaries that support the therapy process.

Choosing the right therapist for domestic violence

When selecting a counsellor or therapist, look for someone who is registered with a recognised UK body such as the BACP, HCPC or NCPS and who lists domestic violence, trauma or abuse as specialities. Registration provides assurance that a practitioner meets professional standards and follows ethical guidelines. It is reasonable to ask about a therapist’s experience working with people who have experienced domestic abuse and what kinds of therapeutic approaches they commonly use.

You may prefer a therapist who offers trauma-informed training, safeguarding awareness and experience coordinating with other support services. Consider practical matters too - appointment times, fees, whether they offer online sessions, and their cancellation policy. Trust your instincts when you read profiles and initial messages. It is important that you feel heard and respected in early contact. Many therapists offer a brief initial conversation so you can ask about suitability and feel confident about taking the next step.

Practical next steps

Begin by reading profiles and noting practitioners who mention domestic violence, trauma-informed care and relevant registration. If you are unsure, a short phone conversation can help you assess whether a therapist’s approach feels right. If you are at immediate risk, contact emergency services or a national domestic abuse helpline before arranging therapy. If your needs include legal, housing or health support, a therapist can help you find specialist agencies and make referrals where appropriate.

Therapeutic work after domestic violence is often gradual and centred on your safety, stability and goals. Choosing a registered, experienced practitioner who acknowledges the complexities of abusive relationships can make the difference between feeling re-traumatised and making steady progress. Use the profiles above to compare qualifications, specialisms and availability, and take your time to find a therapist who you feel ready to work with.